Blog Tour - Delete by Jeff Povey

 

'Tense and witty drama' Sunday Times 'High-concept sci-fi series with shade of Michael Grant a strong shot of black humour' The Bookseller Just when you thought the apocalyptic detention was over...Having fought their way back to what they believe to be their home world, Rev, GG and The Ape discover that they're now stuck in the nightmarish world of doppelgangers, surrounded by a town of super-powered killing machines. Johnson, Billie and the Moth are still trapped in the empty world. Alive, but with no way home. Can Rev get the misfits back together? And even if she can will she be able to do it before the world ends. Time is running out...And believe it or not that's the least of their problems.

Publisher: Simon & Schuster Ltd
ISBN: 9781471118708

Last year I was asked to be a part of Jeff Povey's debut children's novel, Shift.  I was very lucky to share the first chapter with you, my blog readers, of his novel which was described as an apocalyptically funny and thrilling read for young adult readers.  Now, twelve months on, Jeff is back with his second book, Delete, which is the sequel to Shift, and is again visiting my blog, this time with a conversation between Ape and Non-Ape

APE & NON-APE

 

- A Polemical Discourse OnProblems Within The Education System-

 

After we arrived in London and found the rubble that was once a five star hotel Non-Ape ate solidly for three straight hours.  He grew larger and stronger by the minute and the Ape started wondering just how strong and big Non-Ape could get.

‘Could you lift a tree?’

‘Easy.’

‘A car.’

‘Yeah.

‘How about a bus.’

Non-Ape chewed on that one for a moment.  ‘Does it have people in it?’

Oh my God, that means he must have lifted a bus with passengers inside.  I started to realise just how powerful – and dangerous – he must be. An Ape with that sort of power must need very careful management.

‘Say it’s packed.’

‘What’s packed?’ Hanging onto a train of thought has never come easy to Non-Ape.

‘The bus.’

‘Oh yeah.  Easy.’  Non-Ape smiles and I’m pretty sure he has definitely lifted a commuter packed bus at some stage in his oafish life.

The Ape would never be one to worship or idolise but his eyes had widened in a subtle wonder.  But then again he was talking to himself in many ways so it was probably more that he was thinking of trying the same when he got home.

They high fived and I could see the Ape racking his brains now.  Thinking of all things heavy.

‘A JCB digger.’

‘Yeah.’

‘A big cow.’

‘Yep.’

‘Those big metal rooms in banks.’

‘What are they?’

‘Where they hide money.’

The Ape was thinking of a bank vault but I’ve only ever seen them in films.  Do they really exist?  Non-Ape’s grin spread all the way across his lips as a lightbulb lit up in his huge head.  ‘Yowza.’

I could see it now, Non-Ape marching into a bank and dragging the vault home with him.

‘Could you lift a tank?’

Non-Ape shrugged.  ‘Already did.’

The Ape looked impressed.  ‘Yowza.’

‘Threw it in a field.’

‘Yow----za!A whole tank.’

‘Yeah.’  Non-Ape wasn’t even boasting, it was as if he threw tanks into fields every day of his life.  Maybe he did.

Non-Ape stopped shoveling pasta down his throat.  ‘They shouldn’t have got me mad.’

The Ape couldn’t help but grab pasta for himself as Non-Ape continued.  ‘They said I got bad marks at school.  And I said no way.  I got four U’s.’

‘Fouris genius.’

‘That’s what I said.  Who else got that many?  I’ll tell you.  No one.  But they said I had to leave school.’

‘With four U’s?’  Non-Ape shook his head, as if he was totally bewildered.  ‘They should leave school.’

‘What I said.’

‘U stands for University.’  The Ape suddenly declared.  ‘You could go to four of them.’

U stands for Ungraded.  It usually means you were either absent during the exam or you got a low score that meant you failed to get a grade.  Zero counts as a low score and I wondered how many zeroes Non-Ape got.  I’m thinking four.

Non-Ape stopped eating for a moment.  He was definitely getting bigger and the chair he was sitting on was starting to buckle under his weight.  ‘Four U’s and they were yelling at me.  Yelling ain’t teaching.’

‘It’s just yelling.’  The Ape agreed and it started to feel like that there was a great meeting of minds taking place.  No two people could have been so similar in their outlook.‘Should’ve got a gold star.’  The Ape slurped more pasta.

‘I asked for one.’

‘They didn’t give it?’

Non-Ape shook his head again and looked quite hurt.  ‘Not even a green one.’  Do they really give out stars to seventeen year olds?  Sometimes the Apes were almost too heartbreakingly naïve.  I could see them in their classroom’s, probably never listening and thinking up ways to make people laugh or get their attention.  They only grasped a quarter of what was being said and didn’t ever really get that school and learning was something important.

‘Four U’s, that’s got to be a record.’  The Ape could feel Non-Ape’s pain.

‘So the teacher’s yelling and I’m thinking, is he shouting at me?  Or is it someone behind me?’  Non-Ape clearly felt his four U’s were worthy of amuch better response.

‘Was there someone behind you?’  The Ape asked.

‘Was just a wall.  I sit at the back.’

‘Me too.Every class.’  The Ape and Non-Ape stopped to bump fists, excited that they were so alike.

‘So he’s yelling and he’s been eating onions which makes the air smell bad.’

‘Onions.’  The Ape executed an exaggerated retching reflex.

Non-Ape retched in return.  ‘And I wave the smell away.  Only he’s too close and next thing I’ve hit him in the face and he’s gone out the window.’

The Ape sits forward, he’s getting into the story now.  ‘You knocked him out the window?’

‘It was open.’  Non-Ape stopped to dredge through his memory.  ‘Well. It was definitely open afterwards.’

‘Should’ve cleaned his teeth.’

Non-Ape started laughing.  ‘He landed in the car park and the alarms started going off.’

The Ape joined in with a big hearty laugh and they spent a good two minutes just laughing and making car alarm noises. Non-Ape shifted in his chair and the pained creak filled the hotel kitchen.

‘Then the Head came into the classroom.’

‘Did he have onion breath?’

‘Probably.’  Non-Ape slurped more pasta and was still growing bigger.  ‘He said I had to leave school.’

‘Harsh.’

Non-Ape nodded.  ‘I got four U’s!’

‘Four Universities, got to be a world record.’

‘Got to be.’  Non-Ape stopped to let out a low belch.  The Ape immediately responded with one of his own.  ‘But I just sat there.  Said I’m not leaving.  So he phoned for a tank.”

The Ape was still impressed.  ‘Was it loaded?’

‘They said it was.’

‘Probably was then.’

‘Probably.’  Non-Ape’s chair wasn’t going to hold.  I gave it another three minutes at best.  ‘They told me to come out of the classroom.’

‘Harsh.’

‘So harsh.’  Non Ape wiped his mouth with the back of a hand the size of a frying pan.  ‘The whole school was outside.’

‘Like for a fire alarm?’

‘Yeah.  And the Head was yelling stuff.’

‘What stuff?’

‘Dunno, wasn’t listening.’  Non-Ape shrugged.  ‘But I got up and went outside.  Wanted to see the tank.

‘Never seen a live one.’

‘Me neither.’  Non-Ape sucked up more pasta.  ‘Everyone was yelling stuff now.  So I picked up the tank and threw it away.’

‘Good.  Because yelling ain’t teaching.’  The Ape repeated knowledgeably.

‘Tell you something.’  Non-Ape said after finishing the last of the pasta.

‘What’s that?’

“I’m not going to bother next year.  Learning and that.  If that’s how they treat you when you get four U’s.’

 

 

Thank you again to  Simon and Schuster  Children's Books and Jeff Povey for inviting me to again take part in their blog tour and apologies for the late publication of this blog post.